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The Kids Are Alright: Keeping The Kids Together In A Stepparent Divorce

28 March 2016 by Louise Boyd

Coming together as a blended family can start out rough, but is very rewarding when things smooth out. Unfortunately, there are times when things aren't working out for the parents in a blended family. If both of you came into the marriage with children or if someone came into the marriage or if you had children together plus children from first marriages, the custodial arrangements can be hard on the kids. If you want to make sure that the kids can remain a family, there are some things that you can do to make a blended divorce work.

Speak with both biological parents

Even if you are both unhappy with the divorce, being amiable towards one another can make it easier to work out custody and visitation. Keep cool heads and speak with your soon to be ex-spouse to get them to understand and agree that it is best for the kids to continue to see one another. Next, you should speak with the other biological parent and explain your position. Having everyone in agreement about a custodial and visitation arrangement will make things much less difficult for you and your child custody lawyer.

Try for divorce mediation

Going to mediation to work out a divorce agreement can be more beneficial than asking a judge for custody. During mediation, ask for custody or to share visitation with your ex-spouse and the other biological parent if applicable. If your spouse has issues with the arrangement, you may need to offer leverage, such as handing over property or offering extra monetary support for the children. Working things out without a judge can be beneficial, especially in states where custody defaults to biological parents. You can also contact an attorney, like those at Madison Law Firm PLLC and other firms, for more advice.

Consider separation instead of divorce

If you are heavily concerned with the possibility of the kids not be able to get together or see one another often, you may consider not legally divorcing. If possible, talk over a long term separation instead. This can be beneficial especially for couples who are amiable to one another and may suffer from financial issues without one spouse's income or benefits. Being separated but legally married means that the kids can come by often or live together without needing to divorce and petition for custody. If you and your former spouse share the same ideas about remaining a family, this can be the best way to make sure that the kids remain a cohesive unit.

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